ad·jec·tive

A friend recently posted an article about losing the adjectives.  She was of the opinion, as was the article that she no doubt read, that the fewer words the better.  I read the article, then I read it again.  I guess in some sense it made sense.  In a report, in a recipe, in scientific writing, ok, it makes sense.
However, I love words!  I love adjectives and adverbs...not just nourns and verbs.  Language is made up of those words I love.  Descriptors can make a story rich, delicious and make me drool...while plain words, simple and straight to the point, in reading for pleaseure may just fall a bit short for me.  Language has rhythm, color and can be inspiring and it is words that make that happen. For example, "The breeze nipped at the back of her neck and whipped up a fine sea spray that settled on her hands, leaving sparkling salt crystals as it dried. Fairy dust, she used to call it. She breated in the fresh air and absorbed the view: tangerine sky and dove gray sea, ripples on the surface of both, like dragon scales.  She savored the sharp tang of vinegar on her tongue, letting her thoughts wander as the sun slowly melted into the sea, turning it to liquid gold." Hazel Gaynor from The Cottingly Secret.

Well there you have it.  She could have simply said the fresh sea air surrounded her as the sun set. That would be simple and a very few words...but her expressions, her liquid language drew pictures for me, complete with fairy dust and technocolor.  I for one would have misssed that exquisite description of her surroundings.  It seems it is all very subjective.  Personal preference and there will always be critics to attack and correct those preferences.

A sad day

This morning the news told me there had been another shooting, a mass shooting, in Vegas.  It was deemed the "worst"... I was reeling with that news and wondered in sadness, was there a best?
I am still reeling.  My head and heart both hurt. I truly feel as if the world has gone mad, totally mad, and will soon spin right off its axis.  I send so much love to all those who are hurting.

Taking time to be introspective, to meditate, to ruminate, to pray and to read.  Estes came to mind first. Her thoughts, my thoughts...although my thoughts are mostly feelings today.

"This time is the Time for many things that it was not time for, before. Be wise. Be brave, stay strong." Clarissa Pinkola Estes.

I would add be caring, be kind, and focus on love. I truly believe that most humans are good. Some are not, clearly. I cringe when I read that the latest shooting is the "worst"...there was a best?
Humankind is hurting right now in so many ways. Can we not put aside agendas, politics, platforms and simply come together in love? Just put it all aside for a little while and find that love that is in our hearts? Yes, change is needed and must come, but just for today...? Let's not use this tragedy for anything and simply be in a loving, caring place...just for today.

Sending so much love and light to all who are in pain, and all who are suffering. There are so many.

Then stumbled on writing by Chopra:

“The only way to create peace in the world is through a shift in consciousness; to become a peacemaker yourself. Anyone can become a peacemaker. All you need to do is to go within yourself and dedicate yourself to peace in thoughts, speech, action and your relationship with others. This online course is a seven-day journey to help you embody the changes you wish to see in the world…Imagine the powerful shift that could occur in this world if you and the rest of the world made a conscious commitment to practice peace, to become a peacemaker of the world. I believe that if a hundred million people underwent a personal transformation in the direction of peace, harmony, laughter, love, kindness, joy and equanimity, the world would be transformed. This is based on simple and scientific ideas…” Deepak Chopra

In other words, it really is personal. We, each and every one of us, must be that change we wish to see in the world.

Working on my own stuff to be that change daily.  Not always easy, but always necessary. 

Early fall funk

Simply.  I want live simply and just be...boundless and infinite.  Is anyone really boundless or infinite? Today is an odd day, a Saturday and I am home.  Slept late, can't quite find a gear to drop into.  It is cool and damp outside and I feel like staying in.  Restless.  Wondering.  Feeling empty and alone...grieving over the lack of contact with kids.  Need to get over that.  Release.  Let go.  Ordered a couple of books about "estranged" children.  Maybe they will help.  At least they let me know I am not alone!

Signed contract yesterday for the book and paid the fees.  Maybe that is part of my malaise today. While I am joyful that the process is nearing completion, there is also a feeling of let down.  Truly the writing, the researching, and Yes, even the editing were the exciting parts.  The rest has been challenging and not really fulfilling.  Hopefully, it will be out by the end of November and some copies will sell before Christmas.  I don't anticipate it being a huge money maker, but good to just have it done at this point.

Going to finish a cup of spicy chai, read some more Michael Connolley.  Robert used to call him that "Irish bastard" because I would get lost in his writing.  Yup, even missing Robert a little today.  Funky day.  It will pass. 

A Little Grace

Interesting day.  First full day of Fall and it rained, thundered, lighteninged, and there is snow on the peaks.  I sat by the first fire inside of the season and listened to an interview with Elizabeth Gilbert.  It was good.  I had judged her as something very fluffy and not very deep after reading Eat Pray Love.  I was so wrong, as is often the case.  She is bold, she is brave and she is wonderful.  She talked about the way culture imposes things on us; she spoke of achingly cold lonliness.  I could really identify. She said that free people, free people and hurt people hurt people.  I really got that.  It helped me to stop judging a couple of people in my life who have been causing me a whole lot of pain.  I still feel alone however and long for a tribe.  Chidren are grown and really neither need nor want a very active relationship with me.  This has been really difficult for me to adjust to...but I am getting there.
It has been a day of beauty, new beginnings, delight, fall settling in and grace.  I am so very grateful. 

Random Thoughts

Feminine spirituality acknowledges the Goddess as planet, as the earth and as woman. This is a principle of creation that is uniquely female (including males who are conscious).  Women can create life, celebrate life and honor life as they participate in the cycle of the earth.  We might call this divine feminine power. Everything that influences the earth, influences the Goddess and everyone and everything on this earth. 

We have arrived at the juncture where disharmony, violence and mass destruction against Gaia, the spirit name of our Mother Earth, poses an alarming threat to life on this planet. The wounds of this conflict are reflected in our individual and collective disconnect from the very source of all life, our Mother Earth.  Our hearts and souls are wracked with pain. We frack, we mindlessly pollute in just about every way possible and it feels like a never-ending cycle of attack and destruction.

Today we are experiencing wildfires on a grand scale, savage hurricanes, earthquakes, tsunamis, and volcanoes are erupting.  These things have always happened on earth, but to this intensity and with such orchestrated destruction? Could it be that our Mother is really stressed and letting us know?  Are we listening? 

Yesterday I had several discussions with women that I respect and admire.  All of us are living with some sort of autoimmune disease.  The comment was made several times that we all know more women who have an autoimmune disease than those who don’t.  The question arose that integral to our collective healing is our remembrance of the Sacred Feminine essence, energy, and principle.  That principle being our connection to Love, to Creation and our deep connection to Mother Earth, to Gaia. Perhaps, we the females (and conscious males) are feeling the pain of Gaia? Could it be that as women, we have such a deep connection to the flow of life and the natural cycles that we are responding to her pain?

One thing for certain is that there is a real need to reconnect to the source of life, Gaia, with love, healing and respect. I believe that there is a voice within us, if we listen, that is telling us that we much move forward in healing ways, stop the destruction and find our voice and vision and carry the wisdom of the feminine, the sacred feminine, forward if we are to survive. 

Breathing

It is April, spring, and a time of renewal.  I am hoping not to take over the world, but to take back my life.  I have retired.  I never thought I would be able to retire and I will have to go back to earning some money eventually, but for now - I am savoring time, my life and that retirement.

In the months prior to this decision, because I needed to make money and I needed insurance, I stayed in a job that had begun as perfect but ended up toxic.  Interesting choices.  What motivated that choice? Fear?  Perhaps.  I has been a couple of years of health issues which could have been serious, and I am not used to dealing with them.  I have been blessed with relatively good health and physical strength.  For a couple of years I have experienced just the opposite.  Fear colors so many things.  The choice to retire actually came from outside.  The program was not going to be fully refunded.  It was as if Spirit said to me..." ok, you won't listen to all the little signs that you need to retire, so I will have to provide you with a big one."  So it happened,

I have not for one second doubted the decision however, I have dealt with fear that creeps around from time to time.  I dismiss it as soon as I feel it, but it has been there.  Why do I succumb to those tingly fingers up and down my spine...fear?  That is my mission for a few weeks to relax into my time and to dismiss fear permanently.  If not now, when?  That is the question.  I can live comfortable for a while and I am determined to do just that.  Not only comfortably but thriving, really living and finding joy and satisfaction in each day! Savoring.

Ireland

Recently spent almost two weeks in Ireland.  Glorious.  Totally fell in love with it and for so many reasons.  It is beautiful.  Life is older, slower and more satisfying.  There are seventy shades of green! There are animals everywhere, even in cities.  There are no chain stores to speak of.  Butcher shops, fish mongers and greengrocers still exist.  There are flowers on every doorstep and windowsill.

It was an intense trip and it is going to take more time to sort through emotions, photos and memories but I am so grateful that I had the opportunity to go.  I felt my ancestors who are still there I am sure although I found no trace in County Cork or County Kerry.  I will explore more and am seriously considering dual citizenship.  Time will tell where all of this goes but I know one thing for sure, I love Ireland and am deeply grateful for the opportunity to have been introduced to her. 

Afternoon Tea

Sometimes it is the littlest things that delight in a very big way.  A sweet friend sent me a tea blend last week called "Birdsong".  It smelled heavenly in the bag.  Early this evening, when I returned home from work, I dusted off my favorite teapot, a lovely white porcelain one that I have had for over forty years.  Then I found one of my favorite china cup and saucer and commenced to brew up a pot of "Birdsong".  I thought this was rather synchronistic as I have been particularly enjoying the trills of finch lately.  While I waited for it to steep, I lit a candle and relaxed, breathing in the heady aroma of the tea leaves releasing and blending their delightful flavors.  When it had steeped for just the right amount of time (about 4 minutes) I poured the golden liquid into the white cup.  It was magnificent.  It was rich, yet light, with flowery overtones and had a slightly spicy finish.  I loved it.  As I sipped and savored I realized how this little tea ritual was making my day.  I felt calm, relaxed, joyful and perhaps just a little sophisticated!  A simple pot of tea brought me so much delight.

Interesting side note I have been reading little tea cozy mysteries by Laura Childs and the main character in one of her series owns and runs a Tea Shop!  There are all kinds of lovely references to teas, blends, etc., and recipes in the back for scones, tea sandwiches and other tasty treats.  Then there is a short section of various types of tea events.  My event this afternoon was delicious and delightful!
A Tea for my soul that will be repeated often in the next weeks I think!  I recommend it highly.

Birdsong and other delights

It feels like spring has crept in. We may have more snow, we may yet again freeze, but today I feel spring.  I woke with the sun peeking up over the mountains and birds singing.  They were trilling and warbling in that very special way.  I love birds all year round and they all let their presence be known, each in their own unique voice.  But for the past few days I have been hearing the spring repertoire.  The sweet little finch are singing their hearts out.  There have been others too, some I can identify and others I just enjoy.  The snow is melting and I am loving the sun on my skin.  A time of rebirth, regeneration and hope is spring.  We may get more winter and that is fine but for today I am enjoying spring.

The Many Faces of Winter

Here it is January and I haven't posted in forever!  I have not written much at all in fact.  I have been missing it.  It is time to be the she bear and hunker down and write.  I sit here with a great cup of tea, sun is out, birds are feeding like crazy, and dogs are tired out from playing in the snow. I am capturing some words.  These words were inspired in a roundabout way.  Yesterday while visiting a client, I noticed the snow in her driveway was in odd shapes and crystals were evident growing out of those shapes.  It has been very cold, then we got snow, then it warmed and got cold again.  The recipe for snow crystals. They were magical and I kind of got lost in them. They were lacy and delicate and in various shapes and sizes. The images were quite captivating and unusual - magical even- as the sun shone through them. She wondered what I found so interesting in her driveway and smiled when I told her! Those crystals conjured up so many memories of snow and winter.  You see, we haven't really had much snow in recent years.  

The first memories were those of a child, a very young child with a bulky gray snowsuit, pink mittens and big old bulky boots.  I distinctly remember feeling like an overstuffed chair in this get up, but it kept me warm. I remember struggling through the snow that was almost as high as I was.  I remember the scent of fresh snow, the freshness of it. I remember eating snow cones I made in my hands and then I was left with wet, mittens that had that horrible wet wool smell.  I clearly remember sledding down the hill in the back yard, over and over again and just loving the feeling of freedom. Later I remember creating igloos with my brother.  We had a mold that was a plastic rectangle with a handle into which we packed snow and it popped out as a snow brick. We crafted marvelous structures with this. We thought we were amazing engineers! That was back when we got snow!  

There were times that as a young teen we would pack into someone’s car (parents would drive of course) and head to Big Blue...the great tobogganing hill up in Milton.  It is a wonder we didn't maim ourselves for life we were so reckless and fearless.  But, we did have fun.  My best friend Barbara went into the convent (Sisters of St. Joseph) and continued her tobogganing at the motherhouse.  She ended up with forty some odd stitches in one leg as a result.  I believe the nuns suggested a more sedate winter activity to her after that. 

I remember later as a teen and young adult disliking driving in snow but loving to walk in it.  The winter of 1969 I was living in the little coastal town (really a fishing village) of Wickford, RI.  It snowed and snowed that winter.  We lived in a tiny little cottage snug and warm up on a hill.  The entire town became enveloped with snow. We were living in a snow globe!  I was pregnant with my first son and my husband and I went out after the snow stopped falling.  We shoveled our walkway and headed into town which was only a short distance away.  There were no vehicles out at all but many of the people of the village were also out walking!  It was magical.  We saw people we hadn't seen in months and probably wouldn't see again soon.  Everyone was in good spirits and friendly.  Winter by the sea, a study in white. 

My next real strong memory of winter is when my sons were young.  Michael my oldest and I used to sled together and of course make many snowmen and then share hot chocolate.  We lived way out in the country then in West Greenwich and often we would walk through the woods in search of animal tracks and try to identify them. Those were magical times too, returning home again to hot chocolate, cookies -cheeks pink - reading books snuggled under a quilt.  He grew and enjoyed sledding with friends on that same gentle hill. 

The two younger boys came along and there are many sweet snow memories with them.  

 I remember the first time David, my middle one, touched snow!  He was probably six months old and screamed when he touched it.  He didn't like the cold.  Another memory that stands out is putting an old wooden crate well anchored on top of the sled, an old Flexible Flyer.  Putting a pillow or two inside and tucking David in with blankets to be pulled down our dirt road (now snow packed) under a brilliant full moon. Warm spiced cider followed when we got home and of course books and bed. 

Soon thereafter his brother Bill had arrived.  He was much more excited about the snow. His dad had an old Scout International and plowed snow.  By the time Bill was three, whenever it snowed, he would grab his snowsuit and boots.  He couldn't put the snowsuit on unassisted but he did put his boots on first.  This occasioned many laughs around putting the snowsuit on.  Their Auntie Barbara had made both boys backpacks with their names on them.  Bill would always grab his and I would pack it with snacks for the trip with Dad to plow snow.  

Many years passed with only vague memories of shoveling, sniveling, and getting stuck, sometimes in my own driveway.  The years have a way of passing.  My next really strong memory is the winter of 1999 that I spent down at the Stage Coach Stop...alone...in a travel trailer.  That winter was spectacular.  We got snow, snow and more snow.  I would sit with a dog on either side of me and watch the storm play, dump, move in and out. It was really an amazing winter.  We had no snowplow down there until long after the sun was out but my friend Valetta who had a Dodge Ram Dually would drive up and down the driveway to make tracks for me to follow in my little Toyota Tercel, when I finally had to go out.  

Probably about eight years ago Robert and I went for a great moonlight walk after a big snow.  We made it up the road a little ways and decided to make snowmen.  We made three of them along the S curve in our road.  They stood for weeks. Winter sentinels. That was great fun.  We were like kids that winter. 

Winter has finally decided to return and we have had snow again.  Yes, I shoveled, and shoveled but it was light and actually a bit disappointing...too dry to make a snowman.  After the weather warmed a bit I discovered it was wet enough to stick so the dogs and I made a snowman in our yard and dressed him. 

So happy winter has returned.  Now, how many days ‘til spring?  

Spring, Renewal and Rebirth

Spring...new growth, green sprouts, robins, birdsong, misty mornings, first leaves, daydreams...

Such Singing in the Wild Branches (2003)It was spring and finally I heard him among the first leaves— then I saw him clutching the limb in an island of shade with his red-brown feathers all trim and neat for the new year. First, I stood still and thought of nothing. Then I began to listen. Then I was filled with gladness— and that's when it happened, when I seemed to float, to be, myself, a wing or a tree— and I began to understand what the bird was saying, and the sands in the glass stopped for a pure white moment while gravity sprinkled upward like rain, rising, and in fact it became difficult to tell just what it was that was singing— it was the thrush for sure, but it seemed not a single thrush, but himself, and all his brothers, and also the trees around them, as well as the gliding, long-tailed clouds in the perfectly blue sky— all, all of them were singing. And, of course, yes, so it seemed, so was I. Such soft and solemn and perfect music doesn't last for more than a few moments. It's one of those magical places wise people like to talk about. One of the things they say about it, that is true, is that, once you've been there, you're there forever. Listen, everyone has a chance. Is it spring, is it morning? Are there trees near you, and does your own soul need comforting? Quick, then— open the door and fly on your heavy feet; the song may already be drifting away. — Mary Oliver, "Such Singing in the Wild Branches"      Owls and Other Fantasies: Poems and Essays,      Beacon Press, Boston, 2003, pp. 8-9

Christmas Eve

It is Christmas Eve.  Solstice was just last Sunday.  The days grow longer and we shed what we no longer need and allow a rebirth.  Beauty abounds.  The world is full of chaos and anger...I know this.  All I have to do is read headlines.  Yet, gratefully my world is filled with love, joy, peace, harmony and once again a little magic.  I have so much to be grateful for!  My health, my beloved children, my beautiful snug home, the mountains that hold me, the wonder of snow sparkling in the yard...a field of diamonds, the birds feeding at the feeders and singing, the dancing fire at night, the critters in the barnyard, my job and sweet co-workers...so very much to be grateful for...and I am.
The myth and lore of the season enrich me.  I feel grounded and joy filled.  The packages are mailed off in plenty of time and have arrived safely. The stockings are hung by the chimney with care.  Each card I sent had a special message and a message of peace. I completed the Twelve Nights of Solstice meditations and accompanying art or writing with Cat Caracelo.  It was grounding, sweet, and a delight.  I have enjoyed the preparation for this season with so much energy and love this year.  Why?  The world seems to be falling apart around me.  I really don't know but I am tremendously grateful.
I miss my children with an unimaginable ache in my heart... but we are in touch, we have a genuine connection and share a very deep love.  This consoles but the ache jumps out often.  I send them hugs and much love on the phone, by text and e mail, and energetically.  We have a special something...and I miss their presence.  I love them beyond the stars and back again.
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a very good night.

Welcome September

It is the half lit waxing moon...according to Fiona a time that follows the dark of the moon where she sat in that dark and surrendered to the void.  Releasing, resting in the deep wisdom that she opened to receive.  As the first silver of moonlight appeared she gathered and prepared for regeneration and re-emergence.

Now under the half lit moon she empowers her plans and anchors her commitment as the moon waxes she will further hone and align the path she has chosen this cycle.

The half lit Moon calls our attention once again to balance.  It is a time to pause and reflect on where we are in this moment of the cycle.  This is a time for new ideas and inspiration and we are reminded of the deep caring we need and deserve, and of the eternal, limitless love and wisdom to be manifest.

I am thinking of this tonight as I sit, peacefully under that half lit moon.  I see it between the branches of the pinon.  Birds in flight heading for sleep.  Bats begin their swooping.  The light changes oh so suggestively and subtly growing dimmer, through hues of gold, silver, violet and then disappears.  Magic.  I am reading Wild and tonight am feeling very melancholy.  A state I rarely find myself in these days.  I am remembering the three or four months that I was wild and free, a gypsy, exploring the Blue Ridge Mountains, the Shenandoah Valley, parts of the Trail of Tears in Tennessee, savoring old barns in Kentucky, North Western Mountains of CO, Sedona, Walnut Creek, and so much more.  I was untethered, unencumbered and free.  I am not sure if it is sitting outside celebrating the end of day and welcoming the night, or the book that has me longing.  Longing for what?  Freedom under that half lit moon, an opportunity to be untethered again, to roam and explore to savor life without fear, worry, doubt or constricts?  Perhaps all of these things.  

I also remember in my first month sitting way down canyon watching fireflies.  I was told they were not here in this part of the country…but I know differently.  I saw them that year and have not seen them again since…but I have that sweet memory with so many more of being free. 

Coloring Outside the Lines

This never arrived as published.  Written back in spring sometime.   Coloring outside the lines!

Trying to find ways to color outside the lines.  It is ending up more difficult than I thought it would be.  The idea has always appealed to me and to some degree I have experimented but never for long enough.  Yet it seems that now in my older age those tendencies have been pretty much expunged or at least forgotten.  Working on being more open, more flexible, more radical...more creative...more me.  That me has been lost for a very long time but I know she is there.  She surfaces at odd times and sticks around sometimes...yet she is elusive.  Funny as I write this I remember literally hating coloring books.  I could and often did color inside the lines...but it always bothered me and I felt so restricted.  I lived much of my life inside the lines...really time to let the wild woman, the muse, and ME set out on a journey that does not involve any lines or restrictions!  Exciting journey ahead. 

No seat belts required.  This would be a very good time for my gypsy wagon and trusty steed to appear!!

Love, Magic and Miracles

It has been a while since I have posted here.  I was a bit surprised.  I guess when the love, magic and miracles begin to happen in the yard, I am not near the computer.

Despite my late start, the cactus garden blossomed beautifully!  Every year without fail I get magic from this little spot.  The blossoms only last a day but they are gorgeous!

It seems like it has been a very short season.   I planted later because of strange weather and now I swear I can feel fall creeping around.
But, it has been a magical summer and no, I am not relinquishing it quite yet.  Tomatoes are red, chard and kale are fantastic.  Beans a beautiful and herbs are abundant.  Flowers delight all my senses...yes, they talk.

We recently had quite a bit of rainfall and the sunflowers had a growth spurt with several now over six feet.  I used the fence as a measure!  They are elegant and I can't wait until they flower so the little birds can enjoy.  They often look like an amusement park ride as the wind blows and the birds hang on and feed.

The Morning Glories always make me smile.  They are just such happy and beautiful flowers ever climbing toward the sky and they have heart shaped leaves.  Glorious!!

I am feeling overjoyed, full, grateful and very contented today as I pull weeds almost as big as the sunflowers after the rain!  Life is good and truly filled with love, magic and miracles.  I only have to go out into my back yard to realize this- if I ever forget. 

The dogs supply such unconditional love and laughter.  They are clowns and faithful.  They greet me each time I return home.  They don't care if my hair is a mess, my clothes old and dirty from the yard...but they would prefer that dinner be on time!

Gypsy Spirit

This is so true and I am really feeling it these days...the need to let that spirit out and go exploring!

Where is my horse?  Where is my wagon?  Where are the highways and bi-ways that I need to explore? 

Been interesting times of late.  Feeling very restless and very tired of being responsible and good.  Let's get rid of that?!  I want to be bad.  I want to let my little gypsy out to run rampant!  I want to travel, savor, feel the sun and wind, the campfire, smell the horse and feel my spirit soaring.  Need to be reckless for a while and maybe even irresponsible!  Oh, gosh.  Not that.  Oh, yes that!

I don't know maybe it is just the full moon or spring fever...but I really doubt it.  This has been brewing for sometime.  Feel the call to hit the road, move, and just be bad!! 

The Camino in Spain?  A nice long walk?  Maybe. A trip to Iceland?  Difficult with my gypsy wagon and horse.   Or, just a stroll and stay in the desert.  Should I move to Hawaii, New Mexico or Jamestown New York?  Cumberland Maryland is nice...but so is Mancos Co!

What is a girl who wants to be bad and let lose to do? 

I am pondering that and will try some discovery around that question.  

Returning Home to my Heart

Valentine's Day.  Wishes and love messages have arrived from near and far.  Such a sweet day.  Not buying into the commercialism of roses, candy, etc...but in essence.  The reaching into your (my) own heart and celebrating who I am...showering myself with love today; being open and grateful to receive the love of others and reaching out to share my heart with others whether they are long time loves or the person at the check out counter or the bank drive through!  Loving myself and allowing all that juicy and beautiful love to flow!! Happy Heart Day to me and the world...as we all return home to our hearts.  What a gorgeous world this makes. 

2014 the Year of the Horse, Trust and Allowing

It is the year of the Horse!  Horses are so dear to my heart and so is the freedom this hear heralds. Reading Lena Stevens words this morning from the Power Path...February is about Release. I am feeling so excited and grounded as we embark on this new year.  I have set my intentions, organized myself (as much as I ever can!) and am ready for that gate to open in order to move forward with ease and grace. Yes, I am a bit impatient but feeling so balanced and centered - at least this morning.
I am filled with anticipation; of letting go of baggage and patterns that no longer serve me, of giving space in my life for the new and the ability to have what I want.  Visualizing, meditating, striving and praying to that end.  Feeling very hopeful and trusting that the Universe will guide me.
Received a call this morning from the local historical society asking me to portray Fern Ellis, our revered and renowned historian.  Fern is no longer with us but her work lives on.  I am so honored to be asked to develop her character.  I ask her spirit to guide me along as I develop her character.
Three of my pieces of art work are also on display at the Mancos Valley Arts Council.
I am feeling my way along listening to priorities of my heart and not listening so much to my head where the chatter and ill advise often comes from
We are not accustomed to listening so much to our hearts but rather grant our minds priority.  One of my allowings for this year...my heart. I have identified what I want; a creative life filled with nature, satisfying work and tons of creating - writing, painting, crafting, sculpting, weaving.   I am asking spirit again, to grant me the guidance and perseverance and TRUST to follow this path.
I know this will be a breakthrough year for me and I must say, it is about time!  I am deeply grateful.
This will be my year of divine guidance and allowing.

The New Year

I don't make resolutions.  Quit that many years ago.  I do take stock however, in the past year, where I am currently, what growth has occurred, what challenges, what I want to let go of and what I want to invite. I was going to write a volume here about all of that, but I received an e mail this morning...and I am going to post it instead...to remind me, to give me great joy and encouragement during 2014.

By Karen Abler Carrasco, WSFS Consultant, Mentor and Teacher

There might not be a bigger shift of energies in the entire 60 year wheel of Chinese astrology than this one coming up–the shift from two Water years of deep introspection to the fast-paced spurt of extroverted forward propulsion that the Wood Horse brings.  Hold on to your hats, folks, and realize that you won’t be able to, nor will you want to, slow your horses in the New Year ahead! This will be a promethean year, the Beginning of all beginnings, arriving around January 31st to February 4th, 2014.  Full of uplift, optimism and compelling inspiration, we will be guided into purposeful action of the most elegantly simple and powerfully fruitful kind.  After two years of feeling every revelation of corruption in the dark as if it was scouring our subconscious insides and wringing us dry of watery emotion, we are READY for this change!  Light, hope and clarity of vision gallop in. Emerge from your cocoons, everybody, here we goooooo!  

Because this will be such a big change of energetic experience for us, it will help to review here how the cycle of the sacred Five Elements, or Phases, have set us up for this shift.  In that cycle, Wood feeds Fire, Fire’s ash creates Earth, Earth’s compression reveals gems of Metal, and Metal collects and holds Water, which nourishes the Wood to start the cycle all over again. The natural laws of these five elements are actually working in multiple ways throughout Nature, our bodies, our psychologies and the energetic movements of all things here on this planet.  In these movements, there are cycles within cycles, one of which is the cycle of birth, growth, disintegration and death, or the void that comes after old life and before new life.  

We have just been traveling through that void, in two Water years, which immersed us in a descending place of degeneration, dissolution and chaos, a time when our internal world of formless spirit and emotions held total sway over every attempt at external control or order.  For most of us, it was an unsettling time of letting go of many things, either voluntarily or forcefully, a time of deep soul searching, with gradual or sudden destabilization in many areas of family and livelihood.  There was a profound search for a return to a spiritual basis for daily living.  This all had the effect of highlighting an individual’s isolation and powerlessness within a seemingly random and careless society.  Not that outright rebellion and outcry didn’t happen, globally as well as internally.  The 2012 Yang Water Dragon year saw to that, with its critical promptings of social responsibility and heroism, and this Yin Water Snake year that followed delved even deeper into the most hidden caves of stagnant dysfunctionality and corruption on all levels.

The good and great news is that we have completed 5 years of the degenerative part of the cycles–that of the harvested, decomposing Earth, compressing and eliminative Metal, and dissolving, settling out, cleansing Water.  We now emerge into the generative cycles–powerful, bursting buds of Wood’s new growth fueling the joyful outreach and passions of Fire and the beginnings of Earth’s fruitful harvests.

So, that’s the Wood part of what’s coming.  Now to turn our gaze to the animal symbol of Horse. This sprouting upward rush of Wood energy will find its perfect release into the impulsive and passionate nature of the Yang Horse, whose native element is Fire.  The Horse energy inspires powerful INTUITION and an indomitable surge towards freedom in every aspect of life. This is a year to follow your inner voice like never before, for it will have a universal cosmic ch’i within it.  Higher guidance is with us every step of the way.  Reach for the sky, call up your vision, fuel your plans with vision boards and creativity, find a fresh path and pace yourself well.  This yang Horse year has the potential to channel the powerful new upthrust of Wood’s Ch’i through the Horse’s Heart energy of Fire and into every project we start, every desire we reach for.  It will keep our eager plans from being dominated by too much “head” and not enough “heart.”  

It may be quite challenging to trust that we have this absolutely new, purified and hopeful energy to build on now.  Our hearts have had to endure a gauntlet of deconstruction through two Metal and two Water years, but the fiery Horse is about to change all of that.  Within the extroverted “Green Horse” year, we will not only branch out with new growth, but we will be able to stoke the Fire element of love in every area of life.  Follow your intuition fearlessly, as it is both the horse’s main attribute which preserves its freedom and powerful health and it is Wood’s primary talent for stretching into the unknown future.  Reach out with irrepressible faith to a new level of social communion and mutual support.  Trust every impulse to embrace a revitalized and renewed sensitivity for the pleasures this earthly dimension has to offer.

Step up and out of any old clutter, stored memories, should-have-dones or regrets.  The time to deal with that is over for now.  Untangle your thoughts quickly and get clear on what it is that you truly desire in this lifetime.  Your trusty steed is here, full of vibrant health and tremendous stamina.  It should be quite a fast ride, so grab a fistful of mane, hang on to the reins, cast your old cares to the wind and let out a whoop of delight–Yeeehaaw! Upward and onward we thrive!  May we all be blest abundantly as we hold each other closer in the circle of health and new life the Wood Horse year brings.

To go in the dark with a light is to know the light. To know the dark, go dark. Go without sight, and find that the dark, too, blooms and sings, and is traveled by dark feet and dark wings. -Wendell Berry Art by By Līga Kļaviņa

Solstice.  The longest night is a fruitful time for setting intentions, to be birthed with the newborn Sun. What you conceive now can grow with the Sun, and gain momentum in Spring. You might start a tradition of setting Winter Solstice intentions, and in one year, see how many have come into being. Put them in a special tin or box that has meaning for you. The dark before the dawn, just like the new moons, can be a powerful moment of magic, drawing in what you'd like to see happen in the new year.
A time of magic and a time to dream peace. 
As I take stock of the year past I am so deeply grateful for my many blessings.  A beautiful, warm, comfortable home, a menagerie of beautiful pets - especially two dogs, the ability to work at a job that provides well for me in a good work environment, a family to give and receive love, the mountains that hold me and a climate that is kind to me.
Of course I have picked up a few things this year like a cardiologist and an orthopedic surgeon, but still there is a place for such sincere gratitude as my health is good and I have the ability to keep it that way. 
As I ponder and really do know how fortunate I am and pray for those less fortunate; for my son who is going through a breakup of a relationship and is devastated. For his beautiful wife whom I also love greatly. For those who are homeless or sick or otherwise in pain. For those suffering from mental illness or are totally alone.  I pray for those who serve and protect us; firefighters, police and other service people.  The woman at the company that handles my worker's comp claim which was just closed and I need to re-open it because of great back pain.  Her kind words and support have sustained me at this difficult time.  Again, gratitude that I can seek the help that I need and that there are people who truly care and can be loving and nice in the process. 

A very emotional time of the year and I am grateful to feel a full range of those emotions.  A time of gratitude, a time of re-birthing and a time of magic as we call back the sun - may it shine on a more peaceful and loving world.