Spring, Renewal and Rebirth

Spring...new growth, green sprouts, robins, birdsong, misty mornings, first leaves, daydreams...

Such Singing in the Wild Branches (2003)It was spring and finally I heard him among the first leaves— then I saw him clutching the limb in an island of shade with his red-brown feathers all trim and neat for the new year. First, I stood still and thought of nothing. Then I began to listen. Then I was filled with gladness— and that's when it happened, when I seemed to float, to be, myself, a wing or a tree— and I began to understand what the bird was saying, and the sands in the glass stopped for a pure white moment while gravity sprinkled upward like rain, rising, and in fact it became difficult to tell just what it was that was singing— it was the thrush for sure, but it seemed not a single thrush, but himself, and all his brothers, and also the trees around them, as well as the gliding, long-tailed clouds in the perfectly blue sky— all, all of them were singing. And, of course, yes, so it seemed, so was I. Such soft and solemn and perfect music doesn't last for more than a few moments. It's one of those magical places wise people like to talk about. One of the things they say about it, that is true, is that, once you've been there, you're there forever. Listen, everyone has a chance. Is it spring, is it morning? Are there trees near you, and does your own soul need comforting? Quick, then— open the door and fly on your heavy feet; the song may already be drifting away. — Mary Oliver, "Such Singing in the Wild Branches"      Owls and Other Fantasies: Poems and Essays,      Beacon Press, Boston, 2003, pp. 8-9

Christmas Eve

It is Christmas Eve.  Solstice was just last Sunday.  The days grow longer and we shed what we no longer need and allow a rebirth.  Beauty abounds.  The world is full of chaos and anger...I know this.  All I have to do is read headlines.  Yet, gratefully my world is filled with love, joy, peace, harmony and once again a little magic.  I have so much to be grateful for!  My health, my beloved children, my beautiful snug home, the mountains that hold me, the wonder of snow sparkling in the yard...a field of diamonds, the birds feeding at the feeders and singing, the dancing fire at night, the critters in the barnyard, my job and sweet co-workers...so very much to be grateful for...and I am.
The myth and lore of the season enrich me.  I feel grounded and joy filled.  The packages are mailed off in plenty of time and have arrived safely. The stockings are hung by the chimney with care.  Each card I sent had a special message and a message of peace. I completed the Twelve Nights of Solstice meditations and accompanying art or writing with Cat Caracelo.  It was grounding, sweet, and a delight.  I have enjoyed the preparation for this season with so much energy and love this year.  Why?  The world seems to be falling apart around me.  I really don't know but I am tremendously grateful.
I miss my children with an unimaginable ache in my heart... but we are in touch, we have a genuine connection and share a very deep love.  This consoles but the ache jumps out often.  I send them hugs and much love on the phone, by text and e mail, and energetically.  We have a special something...and I miss their presence.  I love them beyond the stars and back again.
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a very good night.

Welcome September

It is the half lit waxing moon...according to Fiona a time that follows the dark of the moon where she sat in that dark and surrendered to the void.  Releasing, resting in the deep wisdom that she opened to receive.  As the first silver of moonlight appeared she gathered and prepared for regeneration and re-emergence.

Now under the half lit moon she empowers her plans and anchors her commitment as the moon waxes she will further hone and align the path she has chosen this cycle.

The half lit Moon calls our attention once again to balance.  It is a time to pause and reflect on where we are in this moment of the cycle.  This is a time for new ideas and inspiration and we are reminded of the deep caring we need and deserve, and of the eternal, limitless love and wisdom to be manifest.

I am thinking of this tonight as I sit, peacefully under that half lit moon.  I see it between the branches of the pinon.  Birds in flight heading for sleep.  Bats begin their swooping.  The light changes oh so suggestively and subtly growing dimmer, through hues of gold, silver, violet and then disappears.  Magic.  I am reading Wild and tonight am feeling very melancholy.  A state I rarely find myself in these days.  I am remembering the three or four months that I was wild and free, a gypsy, exploring the Blue Ridge Mountains, the Shenandoah Valley, parts of the Trail of Tears in Tennessee, savoring old barns in Kentucky, North Western Mountains of CO, Sedona, Walnut Creek, and so much more.  I was untethered, unencumbered and free.  I am not sure if it is sitting outside celebrating the end of day and welcoming the night, or the book that has me longing.  Longing for what?  Freedom under that half lit moon, an opportunity to be untethered again, to roam and explore to savor life without fear, worry, doubt or constricts?  Perhaps all of these things.  

I also remember in my first month sitting way down canyon watching fireflies.  I was told they were not here in this part of the country…but I know differently.  I saw them that year and have not seen them again since…but I have that sweet memory with so many more of being free. 

Coloring Outside the Lines

This never arrived as published.  Written back in spring sometime.   Coloring outside the lines!

Trying to find ways to color outside the lines.  It is ending up more difficult than I thought it would be.  The idea has always appealed to me and to some degree I have experimented but never for long enough.  Yet it seems that now in my older age those tendencies have been pretty much expunged or at least forgotten.  Working on being more open, more flexible, more radical...more creative...more me.  That me has been lost for a very long time but I know she is there.  She surfaces at odd times and sticks around sometimes...yet she is elusive.  Funny as I write this I remember literally hating coloring books.  I could and often did color inside the lines...but it always bothered me and I felt so restricted.  I lived much of my life inside the lines...really time to let the wild woman, the muse, and ME set out on a journey that does not involve any lines or restrictions!  Exciting journey ahead. 

No seat belts required.  This would be a very good time for my gypsy wagon and trusty steed to appear!!

Love, Magic and Miracles

It has been a while since I have posted here.  I was a bit surprised.  I guess when the love, magic and miracles begin to happen in the yard, I am not near the computer.

Despite my late start, the cactus garden blossomed beautifully!  Every year without fail I get magic from this little spot.  The blossoms only last a day but they are gorgeous!

It seems like it has been a very short season.   I planted later because of strange weather and now I swear I can feel fall creeping around.
But, it has been a magical summer and no, I am not relinquishing it quite yet.  Tomatoes are red, chard and kale are fantastic.  Beans a beautiful and herbs are abundant.  Flowers delight all my senses...yes, they talk.

We recently had quite a bit of rainfall and the sunflowers had a growth spurt with several now over six feet.  I used the fence as a measure!  They are elegant and I can't wait until they flower so the little birds can enjoy.  They often look like an amusement park ride as the wind blows and the birds hang on and feed.

The Morning Glories always make me smile.  They are just such happy and beautiful flowers ever climbing toward the sky and they have heart shaped leaves.  Glorious!!

I am feeling overjoyed, full, grateful and very contented today as I pull weeds almost as big as the sunflowers after the rain!  Life is good and truly filled with love, magic and miracles.  I only have to go out into my back yard to realize this- if I ever forget. 

The dogs supply such unconditional love and laughter.  They are clowns and faithful.  They greet me each time I return home.  They don't care if my hair is a mess, my clothes old and dirty from the yard...but they would prefer that dinner be on time!

Gypsy Spirit

This is so true and I am really feeling it these days...the need to let that spirit out and go exploring!

Where is my horse?  Where is my wagon?  Where are the highways and bi-ways that I need to explore? 

Been interesting times of late.  Feeling very restless and very tired of being responsible and good.  Let's get rid of that?!  I want to be bad.  I want to let my little gypsy out to run rampant!  I want to travel, savor, feel the sun and wind, the campfire, smell the horse and feel my spirit soaring.  Need to be reckless for a while and maybe even irresponsible!  Oh, gosh.  Not that.  Oh, yes that!

I don't know maybe it is just the full moon or spring fever...but I really doubt it.  This has been brewing for sometime.  Feel the call to hit the road, move, and just be bad!! 

The Camino in Spain?  A nice long walk?  Maybe. A trip to Iceland?  Difficult with my gypsy wagon and horse.   Or, just a stroll and stay in the desert.  Should I move to Hawaii, New Mexico or Jamestown New York?  Cumberland Maryland is nice...but so is Mancos Co!

What is a girl who wants to be bad and let lose to do? 

I am pondering that and will try some discovery around that question.  

Returning Home to my Heart

Valentine's Day.  Wishes and love messages have arrived from near and far.  Such a sweet day.  Not buying into the commercialism of roses, candy, etc...but in essence.  The reaching into your (my) own heart and celebrating who I am...showering myself with love today; being open and grateful to receive the love of others and reaching out to share my heart with others whether they are long time loves or the person at the check out counter or the bank drive through!  Loving myself and allowing all that juicy and beautiful love to flow!! Happy Heart Day to me and the world...as we all return home to our hearts.  What a gorgeous world this makes.