To go in the dark with a light is to know the light. To know the dark, go dark. Go without sight, and find that the dark, too, blooms and sings, and is traveled by dark feet and dark wings. -Wendell Berry Art by By Līga Kļaviņa

Solstice.  The longest night is a fruitful time for setting intentions, to be birthed with the newborn Sun. What you conceive now can grow with the Sun, and gain momentum in Spring. You might start a tradition of setting Winter Solstice intentions, and in one year, see how many have come into being. Put them in a special tin or box that has meaning for you. The dark before the dawn, just like the new moons, can be a powerful moment of magic, drawing in what you'd like to see happen in the new year.
A time of magic and a time to dream peace. 
As I take stock of the year past I am so deeply grateful for my many blessings.  A beautiful, warm, comfortable home, a menagerie of beautiful pets - especially two dogs, the ability to work at a job that provides well for me in a good work environment, a family to give and receive love, the mountains that hold me and a climate that is kind to me.
Of course I have picked up a few things this year like a cardiologist and an orthopedic surgeon, but still there is a place for such sincere gratitude as my health is good and I have the ability to keep it that way. 
As I ponder and really do know how fortunate I am and pray for those less fortunate; for my son who is going through a breakup of a relationship and is devastated. For his beautiful wife whom I also love greatly. For those who are homeless or sick or otherwise in pain. For those suffering from mental illness or are totally alone.  I pray for those who serve and protect us; firefighters, police and other service people.  The woman at the company that handles my worker's comp claim which was just closed and I need to re-open it because of great back pain.  Her kind words and support have sustained me at this difficult time.  Again, gratitude that I can seek the help that I need and that there are people who truly care and can be loving and nice in the process. 

A very emotional time of the year and I am grateful to feel a full range of those emotions.  A time of gratitude, a time of re-birthing and a time of magic as we call back the sun - may it shine on a more peaceful and loving world. 

Her Hands

Last week as I was waiting my turn in the chiropractor’s office, a woman cane and sat down across from me.  She was of moderate height and weight and obviously an older woman; dressed in jeans, a flannel shirt with another as a jacket, athletic shoes on her feet.  Her skin was clear, almost translucent and she wore plain wire framed glasses.  Her white hair was shoulder length and pulled back into a pony tail.  There was an amazing peacefulness and calm about her.  What I noticed most was her hands.  They were relaxed and folded in her lap.  The skin on them was youthful looking, clear, and had no age marks or ripples of age.  Her fingers were long and beautiful and there was a simple, much worn, thin, gold band on her ring finger.  They appeared so delicate, yet I could imagine a great strength also. But now, they were just resting gently in her lap.  I tried not to stare but I found those hands captivating.  I could not help but wonder about her life, her story.

I could see her sitting strong in the saddle holding the reins in those hands; opening and closing gates, lovingly attending to a baby and children.  I could them tending food in the garden and in the kitchen;  planting, weeding, picking and canning.  Do those hands knit, crochet or quilt? Do they lovingly stroke pets?  Have they comforted and loved a partner offering solace and support:  Have they artfully arranged hair, applied makeup, held a tea cup, or does she prefer coffee?  Have those hands been instruments of exploration, tenderness, caring and hope?

What stories those beautiful hands might tell I don’t know, but they truly spoke to me.

Harvest

The garden in my sanctuary, the church of my back yard.  I have always known that.  I have harvested, as needed during the season, great herbs, veggies and flowers with absolute delight!  Last night, knowing that there will be a killing frost tonight, I harvested buckets of basil, chard, lovage, squash, tomatoes and some flowers.  The gourds will remain for a few weeks and they I will be able to find all of them! My hands were stained brownish green and smelled so good I never wanted to wash them!
This morning I finished the harvest with deep gratitude as I harvested potatoes.  I was gifted with many pounds of those little red beauties.  As I rummaged around in the small patch I could not help but think how blessed I am and what deep gratitude I felt!

Lastly, and with more words of thanks, I cut the remaining vibrant flowers that have provided a riot of color
all during the season.  Cosmos, corn flowers, poppies, and some greens.  They now sit all through my home, reminding me of beauty, grace, gifts, magic, the seasons and cycles of life.  I contemplate in great joy and gratitude.
Harvest!

My Muse has a question...

So, this morning my Muse asked me:  "Do you think that after all these years of living a life someone else prescribed for you that you might be ready to live your "own" life?"  That gave me pause.  She continued: "After all the drama, the heartache, the joy and the magic...but rarely authenticity, do you think you may be ready?"  I told her I would think about it.  You should have seen the look she gave me!
Yes, I tell myself, I may be ready to live my own, authentic, creative life filled with ease, love and joy.  There sure has been heartache, sadness, and wrong choices, but there have also been moments filled with pure joy and true magic.  I spent some time out in the garden this morning after my discussion with my Muse.

After that delicious interlude, I decided to see what the Tarot cards had to say as my Muse's words were still echoing in my head!  I pulled three cards, past, present and future.  The first, (past) is the Lake representing stillness.  It talks about the tempo of life speeding up (man, do I know that and have been trying to release speed) and seeming to be no escape (no kidding!).  It goes on to say that there is no need to be held a prisoner by this "hurry up" syndrome nor is there need to feel trapped by the awareness of our collective intensities.  Seek stillness.  Ok, good thoughts.  

The second card (present)  is Full Moon, signifying completion.  I think I like where this is going and more importantly my instincts, my intuition, my "gut" already knew.  I smile to myself. Completion talks about receiving as sacred and being as holy as giving.  Letting go of old conditioning and healing wounds.  "Set aside ritualized habits and beliefs that restrict the pure act of allowing your body, heart and soul to be nurtured. Lie on the Earth and ask Gaia to rock you in her bosom as you breathe with her and relax into her loving care."  Yes!  Just what I have been needing is a little real loving care. 

The third card represents the future and is Fire, signifying passion.  I really like where this is going!

It asks, "What are your passions?  What ignites that inner flame, that creative spark? ... consider what is missing in your life...Passion is not something that comes from outside of you...it is an intensity of feeling, whether quietly experienced or enthusiastically expressed.  

Passion can simply be a strong feeling or the sensation itself can be so powerful that it motivates you to act...Open yourself to the truth of what you are passionate about and find a mans to express it." 

I really liked that!!  So, with a little stillness, a lot of listening, and some action maybe, I am beginning to life my authentic life after all these years.  So grateful!  Blessed Be and so it will be.  

My Muse will be happy. 

Last, lazy days of summer

This morning was just about the most perfect I could imagine.  The sun, clear blue sky, peaceful and quiet.  That quiet occasionally interrupted by the song of a bird, flutter of hummer seeking sweet source, and Raven chatter.  Cattle are gently calling in a distant pasture down the hill.  The colors are so beautiful!  Tall sunflowers glowing gold tower over vibrant pink and white cosmos and roses still bloom crimson.  Morning glories are everywhere stretching to the sky!  They are abundant and even on the barren, shale soil they manage to grow like grass and still bloom.  The red and pink poppies delight me.  I have tried for years to grow them and this year they finally arrived, little but so lovely.  The tomatoes are all turning red, the basil threatening to bloom along with the cilantro; lettuce just about done while dill and beans dance in the gentle breeze.  Squash, well I really don't want to talk about it.  Next year I will show some restraint and not plant a half dozen plants!  Half an hour of gentle meditation in the warm sun and the rest of my day to myself! 

Doesn't really get much better.  So grateful and feeling bliss. 

"Heartswell"...

Heartswell...that probably isn't a word, but I am making it one.  It is what happened to my heart as I began to read a new book, However Long the Night,  by Aimee Molloy. 

"It is the unlikely and very inspiring story of Molly Melching, an American woman whose experience as an exchange student in Senegal led her to found Tostan and dedicate almost four decades of her life to the girls and women of Africa.

This moving biography details Melching's beginnings at the University of Dakar and follows her journey of 40 years in Africa, where she became a social entrepreneur and one of humanity's strongest voices for the rights of girls and women."

I knew I was hooked in the prelude when tears burned in my eyes.  Molly was recounting her early days in Senagal with no electricity, no clean water, yet she built a house and made a life. Memories of my too short time in Santhe flood my heart.  Hence, "heartswell." Molly talks about walking through the village feeling intense love for the villagers and knowing of their love for her. Heartswell!  This is how I want to live, love and exist here on this planet, making a difference and loving.  I remember so acutely the feelings I had in Africa; the simplicity of live, the extreme poverty, but undying joy, love and music!  

Dreams.  I have had so many since I returned and most center around being instrumental in making something positive happen for women in a developing area.  Molly's story is so filled with love, joy and hope and I haven't even finished the first chapter!  She knows that success is in empowering women.  Not flying in, putting on Africa and throwing around power, knowledge or money.  It is in educating, supporting and empowering those women who live there to find their path to a healthier life, in their own time and space. She does not impart great wisdom, she meets them in love where they are. I don't care about power, status, wealth, I care about my heart, and those of other women.  I want to be a part of that sacred, quiet revolution! Heartswell.  

I am dreaming my dreams, believing my dreams and hope to live my dreams of making a quiet difference, leading a quiet revolution, somewhere with women who are waiting for that support. 

Heartswell. 

Hope

Sometimes I get really discouraged and think what is this world coming to?  Things are floundering and worse in the big picture.  Where are the leaders?  It feels very sad it what I end up thinking. But in the past few weeks through a beautiful women's vision circle I have met some of the most amazing women!  Young women who are caring, very bright and taking action.  I found our leaders.  Some are actively working on the GMO issues; others are creating birthing centers; and yet others are working in organic agriculture. There are others working in education, nutrition, family development, finance, empowerment and general health.  They are fresh, inspired and really grooving. They are deep, committed and soulful.  I am so happy to know that there are leaders out there and not just here in Colorado.  They are across this great big country of ours and in Canada.  They are organizing and leading a much needed and sometimes quiet but relentless revolution.  I cheer them one all.  We do have leaders and they are hard at work.  Thank you Sisters!