Saddness

It has been a strange and sad couple of weeks. My heart is heavy and hurts. I have lost my sweet companion of sixteen years. She had a stroke and never really recovered. She left this world and my side on the 16th at 2:30pm. She is forever in my heart and I miss her in my daily life. I see her everywhere. Raven struggled sometimes with her wild wolf nature. She was after all half wolf and sometimes it was difficult for her in this world. We had some great adventures though that old girl and I! I will always remember the way she dug for crab legs on Prudence Island; how she sniffed the wind, head high, as a storm approached; how she disliked fire! When we had a campfire, she always paced and asked to just go to bed! How I had to set the tent up in the living room before camping trips so she wouldn't be afraid to go inside.

I am deeply grateful that she graced my life for those sixteen years. She was a faithful companion. She was sweet, funny and so very loving. Raven, thank you for being my best friend and for all the love and fun you brought into my life! I will always hold you dear in my heart. You little sister Max misses you a whole lot too.

Sun, gentle breezes and honey bees!

Ah, spring must be here. The weather is mild (in the 70's ) mud abounds and I decided, in an attempt not to take life too seriously, to eat brunch outside. It was heavenly as the sun baked down on me. I was barefoot outdoors for the first time this year (chasing the puppy in the snow does not count, that was painful) and ...what is that buzzing around my tea? A swarm of honey bees!! I did enjoy my brunch, most of my tea, the sun and celebrating my first meal al fresco for the season but the bees won. I finally gave up after being buzzed and bombed several times. I think they were curious about the honey in the tea. It was afterall local and maybe they recognized it! All in all it was a delight though. Spring is certainly on the way. We may have more snow yet, but the balance is gently tipping. Soon it will be hot and dry. Grateful for each day as it comes; finding the beauty, striving for balance...and JOY!

Wholeness, Life Forces and the Sun's Energy

Today is a day of introspection and thought. I have been working with a wonderful group of women through Artella. This group is inspiring and as I set my goals and look at my life plan I find connection and inspiration.

My goals, while still a little hazy, include writing, research and performance, and workshops for women over 55. Inward bound programs, sometimes in the wilderness or out in nature but focusing on who we are at the core. They say you teach what you need to learn. I wan to be in nature and working with like minded women. I include my Weaving A Life in this plan. I see myself as a conduit for supporting other women as we play; as we discover who we really are at our Heart's level. As we discover what sparks, nurtures and feeds our soul. How we can live our lives from an authentic core, with total joy, peace and balance. I feel this is a way to truly and fully come into myself while giving back.

I have taken this afternoon to play. I meditated in the sun and then drew a rune asking for guidance. It was Sowelu. The Rune of wholeness, Life Forces and the Sun's Energy. It stands for that which our true nature requires. It embodies the impulse toward self realization and indicates the path you must follow, not stemming from an ulterior motive but from the core of your authentic self and individuality...you must become conscious of your essence and bring it into form, express it in a creative way. This is a Rune of great power, making life force available to you. It marks the time in your life for total regeneration - right down to the cellular level. It is a Rune that counsels opening yourself up, letting the Light into a part of you that has been secret, shut away. This is a prayer, known as Gayatri, and it carries the spirit of Sowelu. It addresses the sun:

You, who are the source of all power,

Whose rays illuminate the whole world,

Illuminate also my heart

So that it too can do your work.

I affirm that I wish energy and right action to flow through me. I am nourishing the capacity for it and beg direction.

A good day for thought and a good thought for the day! I am grateful.