Feelings of joy, feelings of gratitude but also some feelings of sadness. I miss my children! They are back east and I remain in the Rockies. I opted not to travel this season. It has been a good but challenging year and I simply didn't have the requisite energy for travel over the holidays. It has become a real chore. Memories abound though and they are rich. I so enjoyed the times we were together, when they were kids. While I am sad and cleansing tears flow constantly today, I am not unhappy, upset or depressed. I guess having sad feelings speaks to the depth of love and caring deep in my heart for them. I am grateful for that. I was thinking about Christmas earlier today...the concept, the reason, the memories and realize that it is and always has been my favorite "holiday". I think this probably goes back to my early childhood and the stories about Mary and Joseph traveling, being turned away at the Inn and ultimately having Jesus in a barn and laying him to rest in a manger with ox, horse, lamb, cow, goats, horses and dogs as company. I embraced this from an early age. Lucky Jesus. What better place to be or to be born! I have been envious all my life. The barn is still my best place. I love the music, the food, the ritual and the weather at Christmas! One of the tenors is now singing as I write...in Italian...but I get it! I love Christmas, I love my family and I am filled with awe and delight even through the tears.
As a new year approaches I am always very thoughtful and introspective. These words found their way to me and hit their mark.
"you have escaped the cage, your wings are stretched out, now fly." Rumi
"Run my dear from anything that may not strengthen your precious budding wings." Hafiz
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