Monday, December 26, 2011

Love, simplicity and connection

The day after Christmas.  A very quiet day of introspection and listening to the Power of the Crone by Estes.  She is my heroine, a guiding light, a wise woman, a crone, and my mentor.  I love her work and whenever I need a pick me up - I listen to her.


After our morning walk, the candle is lit and I listen.  I am validated, reassured and uplifted.  I laugh, I cry and I nod my head vigorously.  She talks about her Aunt Edna and pictures are painted so clearly I truly "see" them.  I "see" so many other things too about my life, about the world, about love, simplicity and connection.  It isn't as hard as I make it sometimes.  Following my heart - loving and being loved by family, friends, community.  Life is beautiful as it unfolds when we take the time to savor - to notice, to hear, to "see" - to BE.  It has been a rich and rewarding day spent in quiet walking, listening and knowing.  We are all connected and somehow in this new moon, as we approach a new year, it is time to really acknowledge that.  I feel such joy and deep gratitude to be here - now. 

Saturday, December 24, 2011

Winter Solstice, Hanukkah and now Christmas.  It is Christmas Eve and I have such mixed feelings
Feelings of joy, feelings of gratitude but also some feelings of sadness. I miss my children! They are back east and I remain in the Rockies.  I opted not to travel this season.  It has been a good but challenging year and I simply didn't have the requisite energy for travel over the holidays.  It has become a real chore. Memories abound though and they are rich. I so enjoyed the times we were together, when they were kids.  While I am sad and cleansing tears flow constantly today, I am not unhappy, upset or depressed.  I guess having sad feelings speaks to the depth of love and caring deep in my heart for them.  I am grateful for that.
I was thinking about Christmas earlier today...the concept, the reason, the memories and realize that it is and always has been my favorite "holiday".  I think this probably goes back to my early childhood and the stories about Mary and Joseph traveling, being turned away at the Inn and ultimately having Jesus in a barn and laying him to rest in a manger with ox, horse, lamb, cow, goats, horses and dogs as company.  I embraced this from an early age.  Lucky Jesus. What better place to be or to be born!  I have been envious all my life.  The barn is still my best place. I love the music, the food, the ritual and the weather at Christmas!  One of the tenors is now singing as I write...in Italian...but I get it!  I love Christmas, I love my family and I am filled with awe and delight even through the tears.
As a new year approaches I am always very thoughtful and introspective.  These words found their way to me and hit their mark.
"you have escaped the cage, your wings are stretched out, now fly."  Rumi
"Run my dear from anything that may not strengthen your precious budding wings." Hafiz

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Heart Gifts

At this time of year the world seems to think we need gifts.  Well, for me, usually they are from the heart and not because a big chain store, an information specialist, or other outside source tells me I either need to give or get them.  Today however, during meditation, I realized that my heart is already full to capacity and I feel no "need".  I am so grateful for my beautiful home, my critters, the warmth of my hearth, the food in the cupboard, my health and the ability to go out and walk and revel in nature.  I am grateful to the dear friends that have found their way into my life.  There are two new ones this year and they are such a sweet delight in my life.  There are several who have been in my heart for most of life.  Rich, loving, caring and so appreciated.
In meditation this morning David talked about the four things that are necessary for our heart; attention, affection, appreciation and acceptance.  My dearest friends give me all of that and more and I so hope I return the gift. Feeling very joyful and grateful this morning!

Friday, December 9, 2011

Winter Daze....brrr.

It is already well into December!  Where has the time gone?  I have readied my witner wardrobe!  It is cold.  Have been doing a lot of work the Shiloh McCloud at Cosmis Cowgirl University and am just completing the three month course HerEvolution.  It was rich and rewarding.  Everything I have done with that wonderfully wild, insightful and talented group of women!
Writing away, painting some and preparing with great joy for Solstice and Christmas.  I will celebrate both.  Any chance to celebrate.  The house is covered in greens and candles.  Woodbox is full and I am settling in with a good book (see below) for a long winter's nap!
A dear friend shared a fantastic poem with me the other day.  It is by Charolotte Tall Mountain

Acceptance

In Nature I am neither rich or poor
Neither old or young
Modern or old-fashioned
My vestments, appropriate
to the heat or cool
Are indifferent to Her
She doesn't care if I am
employed or idle
Whether I've paid my bills on time
Or if I'll be the recipient of a prize
I cannot impress Her with my wit
But I feel She understands my pain
She offers me Her bounty whether
I have earned Her grace or not
So great is Her wisdom
Really wonderful words to ponder. 
Clarissa Pinkola Estes has a new book out "Untie the Strong Woman:Blessed Mother's Love for the Wild Soul. Yummy!  Some of my old Catholic resistance began to surface but it didn't stay around for long.  I recommend this book highly.  I am going to brew a cup of tea and curl up with said book.